


the spaces you hold in me

by ornategrip



Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 14:50:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ornategrip/pseuds/ornategrip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after 18 Miles Out. Rick thinks everything between them is square. Shane knows better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the spaces you hold in me

**Author's Note:**

> For [this](http://twd-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/2684.html?thread=2685308#t2685308) prompt on the TWD kink meme.

He shouldn’t have been surprised when Rick came into his tent, long after everybody should be asleep. Anybody not on watch anyway and Daryl had just relieved Shane not ten minutes ago. So at least one other person knew where Rick was, he thought wryly, eying Rick standing there all sincere and earnest.

“What you want?” he asked lowly, as if he didn’t know. As if he hadn’t figured it out the moment he realized just who was slipping into his tent. Rick came to him, crawled down low to where Shane was sprawled out on his sleeping bag. Covered Shane’s body with his, pressed his body down against him.

“I wanted to see you.” Rick breathed, one hand coming up to press delicately against Shane’s bruised face. Bruises he put there but then again, Shane had put bruises on Rick too, so they were square, for now. Part of Shane wanted to be strong enough to shove that hand aside, to tell Rick no, not this time. Most of Shane just melted into that touch, made him push his face against Rick’s hand like an animal begging to be petted.

Rick kissed him then, sweet and gentle, careful of his busted lip. Shane remembered this sweetness, back from before Lori and Carl, when it was just Rick and Shane against the world. When they were young and reckless and convinced nothing could tear them apart.

They were so wrong, Shane thought but kissed Rick back, let his mouth stay gentle. A little gentleness. Maybe that was what this night called for, after all the violence of the day. It was obvious that it was what Rick needed anyhow and Shane, no matter how he tried to fight it, was damn near self-trained to give Rick what he needed.

So he let Rick kiss him like he was made of glass, let the man slowly pull his clothes off like he was undressing his wife, not his friend. Let Rick trail rough, calloused fingers all along his body, soft enough to make him shiver and for goosebumps to rise on his skin.

He watched as Rick took off his own clothes, still beautiful despite the hard times. His ribs poked out a little, he looked a little worn, old when before they had been young and unblemished. Shane didn’t care, Rick would always be the most beautiful thing Shane had ever seen, even when he was so angry he was hating Rick with every fiber of his being.

No hate, at least not in this moment. Tomorrow might be different. Hell, ten minutes from now they might be throwing punches at each other. But right now, the only way Shane wanted to touch Rick was as a lover. To run his palm over that skin, feel Rick’s heart beating, take in his scent.

He tugged Rick back on him, both of them smothering groans when their bodies touch. Been such a long time, since Shane watched Lori walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress while Rick beamed like he was the luckiest man on the planet. Since he left Shane alone and untouched.

No. He didn’t want to think of that now. When Rick went to kiss him again, he tilted his head, showed his throat and Rick pressed his mouth there instead. Mouthed at his flesh like he was something precious, tongue pressing against his pulse. He had the feeling Rick was counting out the beats, reassuring himself that Shane was warm and alive beneath him, not dead and undead in a bus.

They rocked against each other, slow and languid, orgasm a vague goal in the distance. This closeness, this was what mattered. Pleasure could wait while comfort took what it needed and Rick’s face was pressed to his throat and Shane could feel the wetness of tears.

It made him pull Rick’s face away, made him kiss the man deeply. Made him hush him, stroke his hair with gentle hands and when Rick’s eyes cleared, Shane reached down and stroked his dick. That gasp right there, there was a time when Shane knew that noise better than anything else in the world. The sounds Rick Grimes made when someone touched him, stroked him, pleasured him.

It was Shane’s turn to bury his face in Rick’s throat, just listening to those soft sounds. After a while, Rick reached down, wrapped a hand around Shane’s wrist and pulled his hand up, pressing a kiss to his palm.

“Lube?” Rick asked hoarsely and it was just like Rick to come here looking for sex and not bring lube. Fortunately, Shane was always prepared. He sat up, Rick tucking close along him as if afraid Shane was going to run away, naked as the day he was born and hard enough to slap against his own belly.

He fumbled a bit when Rick stroked his dick, cut back a curse as his fingers became clumsy as he searched through his bag for the little bottle of lotion. He finally found it, slapped it into Rick’s chest, making Rick chuckle and kiss his jawline.

Then Rick was slicking those long fingers of his, dipping his hand between Shane’s legs and Shane spread them on automatic. Let Rick in, let Rick push his fingers in as deep as he could go. Shane had fucked other men beside Rick, of course he had, but Rick was the only man he had ever let inside him.

Seemed pointless to try to keep him out now.

Rick took a long time to prep him, used up nearly all of Shane’s lotion and he’d have to bug Glenn to get him some more, next time the kid went running to town. Rick stretched him out carefully, watching Shane’s face for pain or discomfort. Physical pain, hell that never bothered Shane. Shane was pretty sure he proved that today when they were trading punches. Rick could beat on him all day for all he cared, it was the way Rick ripped out his heart without even trying, without even meaning to, that killed Shane a little bit more each time.

When it got to be too much, Shane pulled Rick’s fingers from him, pulled him over him for a kiss, Rick breathing sweet nonsense into his mouth as he settled into place. Rick had always been bit of a talker, sweet talk anyway, never anything filthy. Shane was the dirty talker, not Rick, but he stayed quiet now to hear those endearments as Rick lined his cock up and pushed in.

Rick sinking into him - how long had it been since they had done this? Years and years but Shane still held those memories close to him, still so vivid bright that now and then were blurring in his mind. They were sixteen, nineteen, twenty. Young bucks fucking into the night, no worries about pregnancy or what happened next in life. Future so bright for two young men still fumbling at being adults.

They were in this tent, Shane’s lip throbbing from the punch Rick gave him, Rick bruised from the hits Shane let fly. They were surrounded by death and a viewpoint so far apart that they were on opposite sides when before they had only ever been shoulder to shoulder.

Rick deep inside him, thrusting deep but not hard, still so careful of Shane. Shane shut his eyes against the look on Rick’s face, the affection, the need, the desperation because whether Rick admitted it or not, he knew that this wasn’t the end of the fighting. Shane couldn’t promise him that, no matter that Shane had promised Rick anything he had asked for, before.

Coming was easy, Rick a deep, powerful burn inside him, every thrust remaking Shane’s never endings, forming them into something they used to be and never would be again. Clenching down on Rick’s cock as he came, watching with heavy-lidded eyes as it sent Rick over the edge, made him bite his lip to keep from crying out.

Rick collapsed on him and Shane took his weight easily, gladly because the odds were he’d never feel this weight again. Stroked his hands down Rick’s sweaty, heaving back, hearing and feeling every gasping breath he took. Rick nuzzled at him, pressed kitten kisses wherever he could reach and the feel of that seeking mouth broke Shane a little more.

Rick was stupid if he thought everything would be sunshine and roses but Shane was stupid too. Stupid for letting Rick do this to him every damn time, for following the man like a puppy desperate for praise. He’d be stupid till the day he died he figured, and kissed Rick for as long as he could before the man left him to go back to his wife.


End file.
